I have nv been happy eva since tt incident took place..rite in front i m juz fulfilling my promise to u n put up a strong front n happy face, deep in my heart, the scar n hurt always remain! i alr put it beri staright forward n clear tt mi n her r nth, no matter which eva ger appear, they will nt able to take over the place of u in my heart..nv eva! though once n twice, u hurt mi deeply n yet i'm still stupid n dumb to cling tight onto u...i wonder m i really a idiot sumtime? ='( beside crying secretly at nite to myself..i really duno wad else i could do..i'm totally lost tis time...shd i move forward or shd i remain at my current position?? choices r available bt seem lyk my heart juz cant get u out of it coz i belong to u...=..( i nt showing my grivence to get pity bt the fact tt all these tings shd cum to a conclusion soon to prevent more misunderstandings ahead n get tings move on instead of hanging in the air...it will nv feel gd n happy for both parties toward the days ahead....
Tuesday, March 18, 2008,11:29 PM
I tink i alr lose myself away...life took a big change eva since tt moment n i cant slp or eat well nowadays..tings juz cant get it rite again! Sry, i really duno wad to do oso..when will tings took a betta change? can i hug u again? cn those memories rebirth again? I oniz noe i nid u badly... i'm waiting bt i duno how long can i hold on to tis breath.. ='(
,2:09 AM
It's 2am plus in the morning now n i hv yet turn in to bed..feeling quite sad today, went for her trg at sqs in the evening, she was concurrently playing games wif acjc when the accident took place..at tt moment, i was so desprate n wtd so much to run up to her asking if she's alrite n den carry her up onto my arm n put her gently on a chair to rest..bt sumhow for sum reasons, my legs hold mi back..all i could do is watch helplessly at her sitting on the floor in pain...indirectly as i could oniz sit on the chair watching her in pain follow by secretly crying in my heart! i noe the feeling, i hurt it once b4...it was unbearable! if tt was mi, i would wish so much tt sum1 could came up to mi n stretch out hand n bring mi to a safe spot..tt would b simply perfect lyk wad is always mention in fairy tales..Now i couldnt slp bt tossing here n there on bed worrying tt her injury might worsen! All i could do is pray sincerely to the fairies n deities to help mi in protecting her from harm n get well soon... ='(
Sunday, March 16, 2008,12:02 AM
They r rite...if she doesnt care, y shd i b bother n get depress over it? from the way n attitude tt she show, it obviously nth is impt to her anymore coz if she cares, she wouldnt tok or react like nth happen...too bad i m a fool whu kept tinking tings will get betta..i'm tired...i giving it up sooner or ltr...it all cuming to an end.
Thursday, March 13, 2008,11:25 PM
Do You Still Rem all these tt u hv written? Tell mi tt they aint lies bt is from the bottom of ur heart! ='(
iF u'rE aSkiNg iF i nEEd u e aNsWeR iS 4 eVa iF i'rE aSkiNg iF i'LL lEaVe u e aNsWeR iS nEvEr iF u'rE aSkiNg wAt i vaLuE e aNsWeR iS U iF u'rE aSkiNg iF i lUrVe u e aNsWeR iS i dO
,8:39 PM
I miss....Been days, i still can't get hang of my own emotions..i duno wad i shd do beside tink n tink..memories juz kip on flashing thru 1 by 1 wheneva i close my eyes..i juz wan to slp n nv wake up. it's the oniz solution tt i forget it..everyday is the same...the cycle juz repeat.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008,11:44 PM
It was the same old routine bt everyday i wake up is lyk a robot or perhaps a vegetable person. I facing the world wif out expression..nth is in my mind except those unbearable pain n unhappiness tt occupy mi days n nites..mum saw mi oso dun dare to bother mi, she sumhow could understand hw i felt..i noe it hurt her alot bt i hv no choice coz i'm still feeling beri depress..i cant perform in my jobs, i noe i shouldn't hv done tt so i was tinking to resign for a period of time maybe to heal my wound b4 returning to my jobscope..if by next term start, i still wont recover, i might oso consider delay my semester till next term...i really cant get tings rite! i'm too emotional! y muz tings get so ugly? when will i eva recover? it will always b there no matter wad...
,1:49 AM
Woke up 7.20am today n went fmps for coaching till 11am den head home to rest coz nt feeling tt well...my head was lyk spinning, perhaps due to lack of slp n loss of appetite over the past few days bah...ltr on decide to go back office to clear up sum stuff as staying at hm will oniz make mi tink more...office was lyk crowded today, boss, lanny, joe,angeline were all ard coz usually they will be out to mit clients de...so reunion! lolx..decide to leave early coz int to surprise her wif porridge den came a......(nt to mention anymore ='( went to usante late today, suppose to start at 5 bt went to buy....so bluff nancy tt i gt tings on! after work, decide to mit up xinyi to pour out my woes, she the oniz fren tt when i hv probs, i will go up to her n speak..been beri gd frens for past 9 yrs eva since out ite days at clementi, after having a gd tok wif her, i feel more open up le...took sum pics wif her as we nv taken b4 eva since we r frens! lolx..
TaKeN uSiNg hEr CaM SoNy ErIcSsOn K810
BuDdIeS oF 9 YrS
,1:00 AM
I HATE LIARS as much as u do n i cant believe my eyes n ears tt the person whu lie to mi is actually YOU. Sumone whu is my deepest lurve n closet person to mi actually hurt mi so deep wif a lie lyk tis...From the start till now, i hv nv eva unfaithful or lie to u at all, in return y muz u do tis ting to mi? any1 could lie to mi BUT NOT u...My heart was totally shattered when i found out, i gave u a chance to admit n yet u cont to lie..hw could i eva believe ur words again?u hv broke the trust btw us all the while coz i would nv expect tt person is u...i may nt b the perfect person in ur life bt tt doesnt hv a nid to lie to mi..it is sumting worse than being having a lousy attitude n character...i hope from tis lesson, i still cn drag myself to move on in life...utterly disappointed! while eating the porridge tt i bought, i cry along as i eat...thx to the porridge, if nt i would hv nv found out the truth n the lies will still be carrying on n afterall i realise tt i m juz a clown in disguise in ur heart...serve mi rite for being totful n nice! hahahaha...
Monday, March 10, 2008,10:18 PM
Somehow i hv forgotten how to smile n luff le..staring blankly at the hp all day is wad i lyk to do nowadays..hoping it will rings wif sms or call..the frequent voice n msgs tt i used to receive seem to slowly fade away...gg to work is juz a routine schedule, my body might be there bt my heart n soul r sumhow lost in the vain..when memories r flashing across mi, i will start to get teary..lying on bed tinking tis n tt..dumb mi bt i juz cant control my emotion nor feeling..i nid to breakfree from all these...bt i duno how? i trying my beri best to cheat myself..life took a 360 degree turn overnite which coz a heavy blow to mi...still i muz b strong to stay persistant to face tis test of cruelity facts..
,5:59 PM
The song tt describe the inner feeling of my heart n soul ='(
Now i finally found out the reason of 'fate changes everyting' ppl whu totally believe in fate r usually blind by its existence..if everyting in life is control by fate den wad the point of striving hard n working hard everyday for the future? since fate can decide for us, we might juz as well sit back n relac for fate to take place? A blossom r/s to be torn juz becoz of fate is totally ridiculous n unbearable..bt i can understand the pressure n feeling she gg thru..hopefully when she get more mature, she noe how to tink for her own..no matter wad, i always holding on to the promises tt we share wif each other..nv eva will it be forgotten. I hope u too bear it in mind hard n nv gif up lyk i do...
Friday, March 07, 2008,2:00 AM
FROM NOW ON, WHU EVER CUM BOTHER MI WILL GET SCOLDING FROM MI...TIS IS MY WARNING! I F**KING PISSED OFF WIF BLOODY BAD MOOD...
Tuesday, March 04, 2008,1:21 PM
Back blogging after being mia for period of times due to exams..juz completed my papers 1 wk ago n look forward for results in 2 weeks times..hopefully tings goes well n promoted to my final yr b4 i grad next yr...recently, life was extremely disgusting, tings wasnt as usual as it was...maybe sumhow it din work, working hard at it but was in despair..can it still survive? guess if it does continue, it wont lead to anywhere..choices are yours! confidence might no longer exist anymore...will there be a re-born? juz let it be...i'm too tired to mingle wif it..my heart is bleeding n crying days n nites...
Profile
About
Hong Shunliang Michael [Xiao Xuan Feng] 27, 07/01/1982
I'm living in Singapore Jurong.
I'm a Volleyball freak,student,travel consultant.
Loves
Colors : Blue, Black and White Foods : Shilin Mian Xian Movies : Fast n Furious, Redline etc Idols : Jay Chou, Jeff Chang, S.H.E
Born in Singapore, on the 07 January 1982, Mike was the only child in a family. He graduated from Clementi Town Primary School and Shuqun Secondary School. At the age of 16, while he was studying for his N 'Level, Mike was discovered during Singapore schools selection. During this time, he was the main 6 of the team. At first, he was nervous to enter the team but later took up the courage to play his best. In 1999, at the tender age of 17, he receive 2 zonal and 1 national colours awards for his excellent performance and contribution to the team. His sweeping fame across singapore and even his friends gained him the nickname "Qing Wa Wang Zi" due to his impressive jumping ability. He was also known as one of the few key players in Singapore. Mike became the youngest player ever to pariticipate in the ASEAN volleyball competition hosted Vietnam in 2004, being only 22 years old and with vast experiences, he went on to pursue his dream by participating in numerous competition thru out singapore and malaysia. In 2006, he went on to Ngee Ann polytechnic to further his studies and participate in Pol-ite and IVP games winning consecutive 3rd position. Throughout his volleyball career, he also received many recognsition and applause from his mentors and friends.